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      英語世界
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      翻譯擂臺第15期點評
      發布時間:2017年09月02日     發布人:nanyuzi  
      來源: 英語世界
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      【原文】


      [1]厭倦是人生第一件罪惡,也是人生第一件苦痛。厭倦是一種想脫離活動的心理現象。換一句話說,就是不愿意勞作。[2]你想,一個人不是上帝特制出來充當消化面包的機器,可以一天不勞作嗎?[3]只要稍為動一動不愿意勞作的念頭,便是萬惡淵藪。[4]換個方面看,無論何等人,總要靠勞作來維持自己生命,任憑你怎樣地不愿意,勞作到底免不掉。

      ——梁啟超


      梁啟超不但是中國近代史上杰出的思想家、政治家,而且是一位大教育家。他的九個子女各個成才,“一門三院士,父子九專家”,其秘訣是言傳身教。選文是他對學生的演講,也可看作是對后輩的教誨。


      [1]中,關于“厭倦”的譯詞,參賽者用的是boredom、tiredness、weariness、indolence、ennui等,應當說都不算錯,但經辨析:①ennui為法文,固然有“a feeling of being tired, bored and dissatisfied”之意,但不夠常用;②indolence為inactivity resulting from a dislike of work,更多的是“懶惰”;③weariness是temporary loss of strength and energy resulting from hard physical or mental work,即暫時性的倦??;④tiredness類似于weariness;⑤而boredom(bored的名詞形式)為tired、impatient、have no interest in doing anything,是一種常態化的厭倦,故更為確切。

      “罪惡”的譯法,有的用了crime,需知該詞的主要意思是an act which is against the law,即違法行為,然此處并非該意;而evil是morally objectionable behavior,更多道德色彩,同時可泛指一切惡事(見[3]);guilt本義為an unhappy feeling after having done something wrong,主要是內疚,顯然不符。當然,用的最多的是sin,該詞最初源于宗教,意為an action or type of behavior which is believed to break the laws of God,如original sin(原罪),但又不限于宗教,因the laws of God與natural law(自然法)相通,多指一種本性上的“惡”,如:①他們沒有任何道德觀念,生活中充滿罪惡。(Without any moral consideration, they are now living in sin.)②He saves us from the power of sin.(他使我們擺脫了罪惡勢力。)


      但該句的譯文很容易冗贅,如:Boredom is the first sin of life, and also the first suffering of life. / Tiredness is the guilt of the first thing all one’s life and the first pain of one's life. / Boredom is the most sinful and also the most painful thing in... ,等等。實則可以簡化,避免重復,突出主旨。


      “心理現象”,大都譯成了psychological phenomena,如:Boredom is a psychological phenomenon that someone wants to separate himself or herself from activities.這未免過于表面化了,實則,這里講的是一種生活態度,故不妨用mentality,意為a particular attitude and way of thinking,即主要是一種“心態”。此段中第二個“厭倦”顯然有遞進之意,即“實質上是……(不愿或厭惡做任何事)”,而“不愿意勞作”其實就是懶惰!同時,英語口語里說“煩了”,還可用sick of,如:I am so sick of all the noise and traffic here.(對這里的噪音和交通混亂,我真煩透了。)


      故此,[1]不妨譯為:Boredom, in my view, is the most painful thing, and a sin to suffer. In essence, it is the mentality of being sick of doing anything at all. In other words, it’s lazy!  


      [2]中,“你想”,一般譯成了just think、just imagine、think about that等,比較典型的,如:Think about that, as humans are not a machine created particularly by God to digest bread but can human not work for a day long? / Just think, a man was not supposed only to be a bread eater when God created him. Could he have a single day without working? / You see, men are not created by God to be bread-consuming machines. How could we live a day without working? 有的將此處三個分句整合為一句:“You may save yourself from hard work only if you were a God-made bread digester which, unfortunately you are not”,也是非??扇〉?,盡管在形式上距原文較遠。其實,這里的“你想”,是啟發讀者意識到(這樣一個事實),而“消化面包的機器”是指食而不作。故[2]不妨譯為:One has to realize that man was not created by God to be a machine merely to digest food. How can one fail to work?


      [3]中,“只要稍為動一動……念頭”,一般采用了“...don’t have a slight error in thought / Don’t think a little bit about... / So long as you give rise to the thought... / If you somewhat occur to an idea that (you are averse to working...) / as long as you toy with idea of (unwilling to work) / As if you have an idea of not (work)”等譯法,似乎都是一種思路,而“The moment the tendency of being sick of working began to erode your mind, you already fell into abyss of extreme evil”則別開生面!其實,英語里還有一種通俗表達法:not even to think of it /not to even think about that,如:You should not try to smuggle any drugs in that country, where the most severe penalty is in place; don’t even think of it?。莻€國家對毒品走私有最嚴厲的制裁;不要試圖做那種事——想都不要想?。┕蔥3]可譯為:It’s best not to even think about that, since boredom is the source of all evils.


      [4]中,將“換個方面看”譯成From another prospective / On the other hand / Put in another way等,似乎都可接受?!熬S持自己生命”,即“生存”“生活”之意,但又不宜簡單地譯成maintain (sustain) life / to exist through working等。有的譯成Anybody needs to work to keep them alive,其中的“keep...alive”是使役句式(causative verb),即“使其活下去”,顯然有誤;此處應為自動詞(intransitive verbs),如make a living,或to survive,其本義continue to live、endure or last,類似的還有endure、hold up、hold out等??偟闹v,此句的實際意思是,任何人都別想不勞而獲,可表達為:you shouldn’t expect to get something without any labor / there is no free lunch in the world / you'd better to know “no pain no gain” / there is no reaping without sowing,等等。故此,[4]不妨譯為:Put in another way, whoever wishes to survive has to labor to support oneself, no matter if one is willing or not.


      此段演講,接續的還有一句話(因篇幅所限刪去了),“免是免不掉,愿是不愿意,天天皺著眉哭著臉去做那不愿做的苦工,豈不是活活地把自己關在第十八層地獄?”,此處也不妨翻譯如下:Fully aware of the necessity to work, should one still frown reluctantly at one’s job every day? Is that any different from sinking oneself into the bottom of hell? 僅供參考。

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