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      英語世界
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      翻譯擂臺第39期點評
      發布時間:2020年01月15日     發布人:nanyuzi  
      來源: 英語世界
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      【原文】

       

      歲月的流逝

       

      林清玄

       

      [1]我們在人生里,隨著歲月的流逝而感覺到自己的成長(其實是一種老去),會發現每一個階段都擁有了不同的朋友,[2]友誼雖不至于散失,聚散卻隨因緣流轉,常常轉到我們一回首感到驚心的地步。[3]比較可悲的是,那些特別相知的朋友往往遠在天際,泛泛之交卻在眼前,因此,生活里經常令我們陷入一種人生寂寥的境地。

       

      歲末年初,最容易讓人感嘆日月消長、時光不復。隨著年齡的增加,對此可能更會有不同的感受。

       

      關于題目“歲月的流逝”,有各種譯法,有的用了Time Flies,看似不錯,但細加分析,該短語主要是感嘆時光飛逝、歲月如梭,如:①Time flies by, and a world of changes has occurred.(光陰荏苒,世事滄桑。)②These five years have seemed to me like 5 months. Time flies!(這5年對我來說就像5個月一樣,時光飛逝?。跦ow time flies! Here you are graduating from high school and planning to attend State University in the fall.(時間過得真快,轉眼間你就將中學畢業,并擬于秋季進入州立大學了?。┤欢?,該文著意“隨著歲月的流逝”,即強調的是“過程”,而非“速度”,類似的如經典影片《卡薩布蘭卡》(Casablanca)的插曲《時光流逝》(As Time Goes By)中唱道:“I love you more and more each day / As time goes by”(時光流逝,對你的愛戀卻與日俱增。)夏丏尊的名篇《中年人的寂寞》中有:“不消說,相識的人數是隨了年齡增加的,一個人年齡越大,走過的地方當過的職務越多,相識的人理該越增加了?!敝g家張培基的譯文為:Needless to say, the number of acquaintances increases with one’s age. The older one gets, the more widely traveled one is and the more work experience one has, the more acquaintances one is supposed to have. 這些表達都有“隨著歲月而發生……”之意,故此處不妨用:As Years Go By…

       

      對于[1],許多人都按部就班地依原文譯成“In our lives, we could realize that we grow up (a kind of aging, actually)”“In our lifetime, we feel certain inner growth with the flow of years (which, in essence, is a sign of ageing)”“In our life journey, we witness our growth as time marches on (actually we get older as the years rolled by)”“We, in our life, feel our own growth (an aging in disguise) as time goes by”等,其實,中英文的語序在譯文里不必刻板,而可根據要表達或強調的意思相當靈活地加以處理,特別是狀語。例如,“有時候在外面玩兒到半夜才回家睡覺,于是又夢見玩兒的情景”,若循規蹈矩地譯成“Sometimes, I played outside till midnight, and then sent to sleep. So I dreamed again of how I played.”不免顯得呆滯,不如調整語序譯為“Not until midnight did I go home to sleep, and then I dreamed what happened during the day.”更符英文表達方式。有的調整幅度甚至很大:①在這個國家,一直以來,我最喜歡的地方其實很多。(The most loved place, for me, in this country has in fact been many places.)②西洋人究竟近乎白癡,什么事都只講究腳踏實地去做,這樣費力氣的勾當,我們聰明的中國人,簡直連牙齒都要笑掉了。(Because of their earnest and down-to-earth approach to work, Westerners are, in the eyes of Chinese smarties,next door to idiot.)同時,亦可不必受制于原文的標點符號(如其中的括號),而在譯文中加以展開,更顯平實、自然。

       

      故此,該部分不妨譯為:As years go by, we can feel our growth, as a kind of ageing. At every stage of life, we make friends with all sorts of people.

       

      [2]中,“聚散卻隨因緣流轉”是個焦點,表層意思固然是“its (in terms of friendship) gathering or departure is transferred by fate”“many of them come and go by such an uncertain twist of fate”“makes our friends and us gather and separate by karma”“gatherings and partings are steered by our destinies”等,但其深層含義是,經過世態炎涼,友誼經過了各種測試、揀選、考驗,分流出了下文所講的“特別相知的朋友”和“泛泛之交”,故應有 the friendship has been tested by various turbulences之意。

       

      “回首”,一般譯成as we look back、when looking back、call to mind、recollect、turning round等,固然都不錯,但hindsight別有涵義(understanding the nature of an event after it has happened; the ability to understand and realize something about an event after it has happened, although you did not understand or realize it at the time)似更為恰當。

       

      至于“驚心”,有的用了shock,其實該詞強調的是suddenly、accidentally (something suddenly happens which is unpleasant or upsetting; the feeling of distress and disbelief that you have when something bad happens accidentally),而surprise強調的是unexpected、unanticipated (the astonishment you feel when something totally unexpected or unanticipated happens to you)。二者比較,顯然后者占優。

       

      因而,該部分似可譯為:While friendship may not be easily lost, various turbulences do test its endurance, to a point which may surprise us in hindsight.

       

      [3]中,“特別相知的朋友”,顯然不只是those who know us particularly well,而是“相互理解的”bosom friends、soul mates等;“泛泛之交”,一般可用general friends、nodding/bowing/casual acquaintances等。較為典型的譯文,如“The more grief is that friends whom we know from the bottom of our hearts are poles away and whom we know skin deep are in front of ones’ eyes, consequently we fall into a solitary situation in our life.”“We scarcely lose our most prominent friendship, but couldn’t be with our friends for long. With the glimpse of the looking footprints, things are barely recalling the permanent terror and regrets.”“The sad thing is those who intimate with each other live far away while who is on hand-shaking terms is close to me. Therefore, life often puts us in a lonely position.”等。就此,上文提到的夏丏尊亦有類似論述:“可是相識的人并不就是朋友。我們和許多人相識,或是因了事務關系,或是因了偶然的機緣——如在別人請客的時候同席吃過飯之類。見面時點頭或握手,有事時走訪或通信,口頭上彼此也稱‘朋友’,筆頭上有時或稱‘仁兄’,諸如此類,其實只是一種社交上的客套,和‘頓首’‘百拜’同是儀式的虛偽。這種交際可以說是社交,和真正的友誼相差似乎很遠?!睆埮嗷淖g文為:But not all acquaintances are friends. We come to know many people either in the way of business or by mere chance – say, having been at the same table at a dinner party. We may be on nodding or hand-shaking terms, call each other “friend”, sometimes write to each other with the salutation of “Dear So-and-So”, etc., etc. All these are, in fact, nothing but civilities of social life, as hypocritical as the polite formula dunshou (kowtow) or baibai (a hundred greetings) used after the signature in old-fashioned Chinese letter-writing. We may call them social intercourse, but they seem to have very little in common with genuine friendship. 這段譯文雖用詞平淡,卻深淺有度,固敘述平實,仍情理之致,在某種程度上,可作為此段譯文的注腳和參照。

       

      故此,該部分不妨譯為:Sadly, we often find that bosom friends are far away and casual acquaintances widely present, frequently trapping us in loneliness.

       

      悠悠歲月,蕓蕓眾生,實在有寫不完且譯不盡的精彩、感嘆與無奈,這也正是生花妙筆的用武之地。

       

      優勝譯文:

       

      @醉清風

       

      The Lapse of Time

       

      By Lin Qingxuan

       

      With the lapse of time in life, we can sense our own growth, or rather, a kind of aging. At different life stages, different friends can be found. Friendship will not get lost over time, yet its reunions and departures will take turns by causes, turning into a point where we look back and feel startled. It is sad that we always miss close friends afar while have casual acquaintances around. Consequently, we are trapped in constant solitude of life.

       

      @Tracy ZHANG

       

      The Passage of Time

       

      Lin Qingxuan

       

      Life would let us know we have grown as years elapse, which in truth comes with age. It would dawn upon us that we have had different friends in different stages of life. Friendship is still there but the chances of meeting and parting have got to a point at which we would be astounded in retrospect. Sadly, we would often find ourselves worlds apart from those whose minds are the closest to ours, but surrounded by casual acquaintances. That is the part of life that would drown us in loneliness.

       

      @阿耳佱

       

      The Flow of Time

       

      By Lin, Qingxuan

       

      In our lives, with the flow of time, the sense of growth, which is actually a sense of getting old, will hit us. We will find out that there are different friends around us in each stage of our growth, which does not lead to the lost of friendship though, yet makes our friends and us gather and separate by karma, which usually astounds us when we look back. Sadly, our intimate friends are often far from us, while casual acquaintances are always before our eyes. Therefore, we often fall into a lonesome circumstance in the life.

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